Welcome to my blog: Between the Scans. I was diagnosed with melanoma in early 2016. From the start, it was serious. I had been hypervigilant about routine dermatology. I grew up in Texas. I loved being outside. So, how did this happen? The words “invasive melanoma” were not the words I wanted to hear. It has been a difficult, but beautiful journey. Read more about it here
Today is July 1st,, 2021. I cannot believe I am still on this earth. Today is exactly one year from my last infusion of combination immunotherapy. Today marks the first year out of the last five that I have not had cancer recurrence, treatment, and/or surgery…sometimes all three and sometimes more than one of the same occurrences.
On May 8, 2020, I received the devastating news that the cancer had penetrated my core: numerous subcutaneous nodules, bones, liver. I took an extended leave of absence from my work to focus on treatment and healing.
During that period, I was inspired to write with the intention of launching a blog. I thought back to when I first started my cancer journey. I wanted to connect with other people plagued by cancer. I wanted to hear how people were living with cancer, melanoma in particular. I could not find anything that really talked about living with cancer. Everything seemed to focus on the terrible side effects and failed treatments. There were some beautifully written stories about facing one’s own mortality. I am not discounting the value in those blogs. However, there was nothing helpful for me. I wanted to hear how people with cancer focus on living! How did they continue in their careers, manage the fear, dare to love deeper, think about the future, enjoy the mundane, take bigger risks?
Since my diagnosis, my very full life has been punctuated by the scans. For those of you who have not experienced cancer, please understand scans are anxiety-producing at best, and trauma triggering at worst…and I am not even talking about the results. I am talking about the time leading up to the scans themselves. As my husbands says, “they wouldn’t do scans if there wasn’t a chance they would find something.” The mere phone call or e-mail notice telling me that scans are a month out has the potential to send me into a tailspin…to rob me of a whole month of living, and that is just silly, because living BETWEEN THE SCANS is where I find joy and purpose.
I hope that someone, even just one person will be encouraged by this blog while they live BETWEEN THE SCANS, whether literally as a person with cancer, a person who loves someone with cancer, or whether “between the scans” is a metaphor for the trials, stress, and pain you deal with here in this imperfect world. I do not know where each writing will take us. Some days may simply be about gratitude. Some may be about finding comfort when it seems elusive. Some days I may discuss the battle with fear or discomfort. I may meander into issues facing society, motherhood, friendship, who knows?
Today is a day to celebrate living BETWEEN THE SCANS!
Between the Scans 